Saturday, June 13, 2009

Waste of time or time of relaxation?

Recently I have been evaluating the things that I spend my time on. They are numerous, but surprisingly I spend most of my time doing a few of these activities, and not very much time on a majority of them. Honestly, what I have found upsets me, and desperately needs to change. First lets start by listing the main few things that I spend my time doing.
1. Work - Since the summer has started, I took a job on campus working for the Office of Conferences and Events, same as last summer. I seem to be getting many more hours this year though. It is keeping me busy, and this is something that I need during this season of grief. I would definitely say that work at CBU is what I spend the majority of my time doing. But because of that it has led to increased fatigue, which of course leads to me not wanting to do much socially, physically, or mentally. Which is a serious problem.
2. Spending Time With Family/Sarah - Chances are if I am not at work, I am at home enjoying the company of Sarah, my mother, or my brother. My mom and I have spent more time talking in these past few months than we have in most of my life combined. These have been hard conversations, but they always are helpful, at least to me, and I have enjoyed them very much. I also have been spending more time with Josh, whether it be going to play mini-golf, or playing NHL '08 on my 360. However, Sarah gets a lot of my time just talking, watching movies, going to eat or to Disneyland. We see each other for longer times, because neither of us are in school, and it seems that many of our friends have gone home for the summer.
3. Ministry - I still work with middle schoolers at MABC, and I love it. In fact tomorrow we leave for our 5 day summer camp in San Diego. It will be a blast, and I am looking forward to connecting with the guys that are in my small group. This is another area in which Sarah and I spend time together, as we are both involved in The Refinery.
4. Scholarly Pursuits - These have been seriously lacking lately. The Lord has blessed me with a curious temperament, but lately anytime I have sat down with any book of any significance, my mind wanders, and when I am able to stay focused I have a hard time understanding deeper concepts that I am reading about. This MUST change. I must never cease to try to understand my Father, His thoughts, or His word. If I cease to try, I might as well cease to be.
5. Video Games - These have been and continue to be my Achilles heel of time management. While they are a great stress relief for me, I have a hard time knowing when it is time to put down the controller and pick up a book.
6. Musical Endeavors - These also have been seriously lacking lately. The Lord has also blessed me with a musical mind, but I have seriously neglected that. I used an excuse to not play music. Because Ryan moved away, I didn't ever feel like playing music. Instead of properly dealing with my feelings of grief over Ryan moving, I just gave up music. But the good news is that this is starting to pick up. While I am rusty as heck, and all my guitars need new strings, and my amp probably needs a re-tubing, I am finally making some music. Dylan Hake and I have started writing, just for the sake of doing something that we love, I do not plan on making any money, nor do I have high expectations that we will ever even play any shows, but I am writing again, and it is a relief to my spirit. Lack of creativity over the past year, I think, has driven me slightly insane. So I am slowly regaining my musical prowess as I shake off the dust, and begin writing again.
I would say that these are the main six things that my time gets spent doing. There are things that should be included in this list that aren't. And there are things that are in this list that need to go down, by how much time I spend doing them. The lesson here being, time management is not something that you just have. It is something that you must force upon yourself, it takes some self sacrifice, and getting rid of some things that you would really like to hold on too. For example, I know that I need to make more of an effort to spend more time with my friends, and with the Lord. I have been craving intimate friendship, and intimacy with God, but I don't have it because of my laziness. Now I am feeling the effects of that laziness, especially when it comes to my relationship with Christ. I am slowly but surely getting back into the saddle of maintaining a steady, constant and firm relationship with Christ. If you take anything away from this, please learn to manage your time now, rather than later, save yourself some pain, and irritation.