Monday, February 19, 2007

Thoughts of Late...

Lately I have been thinking about my passions. My passion for people, my passion for learning new ideas, my passion for hearing my Savior, and mostly about my passion for music. God has blessed me with some amazing talents and passions in the area of music. I would love nothing more than to pursue my passions and talents and make a career out of making music, but my Lord has something else in mind. He has called me to something higher. He has called me to a life of ministry. This is my struggle. I don't understand how God can give me these talents and passions and then want me to only give them up. He has asked me to give up what I love most in this world for what serves His purpose. And right now He is having to drag me kicking and screaming. Why can't I sacrifice what He asks me too. I am so weak. All I want to do is what I want to do, not what God wants. Why am I so simplistic? Why can I not see the bigger picture and let go of something that in the long run will benefit me nothing. This notion's got it's claws in me and is refusing to let go. How do I kill my desire for the greater good is the question that I cannot answer.


brittanynoele said...

We are supposed to live as Jesus did... God gave Jesus life and a human connection with the people he loved so much, only to take it away, and even worse, have it taken away by the people He loved so much in such a terrible way... I believe that God works in mysterious ways, and some things He does are just above our heads, but i understand that it is hard and worthy of a struggle to feel you have to give up something you're so passionate about, especially since there are so many people out there starving to find passion in something-- anything. It is good that you have found things you are passionate about, and i'm sorry you feel like you have to give them up, but at the end of the day, what can music give you that God can't?

wow, i didn't know i really thought all of that, especially since God's plan for my life is one of my biggest struggles... i hope i helped even a tiny bit?

Todd said...

Hi Chris - I really enjoyed reading about your struggle. Not because you are struggling, but because your struggle is so worthy of stuggling over. It reveals so much about the genuine nature of your faith. I would be much more concerned for someone who never stuggled with the concept of God's will for their life.

In defending himself against criticism from Christians regarding the fantasy genre he employed in writing the Narnia books, C. S. Lewis had the following response:

"Lewis and Tolkien were not merely entertaining their readers, they were evangelising them at an imaginative level. They were preparing us to read, as though for the first time, the foundational story of our civilisation, which is the salvation history of the Jews, culminating in the life, death and resurrection of Christ. And Lewis, for one, did it quite deliberately. He called it an attempt to 'steal past the watchful dragons' that today try to block access to Christian truth. He would embody that truth in a story that would not be overtly Christian, yet which would breathe the same air as Christianity, and would express the same understanding of the things that really matter. In a sermon he preached in Oxford in 1941 he replied to people who said he was trying to weave a spell. 'Spells are for breaking enchantment as well as for inducing them,' he said. 'And you and I have need of the strongest spell that can be found to wake us from the evil enchantment of worldliness… Almost our whole education has been directed to silencing this shy, persistent, inner voice, almost all our philosophies have been devised to convince us that the good of man is to be found on this earth.'

So often, what we know and desire is so heavily tainted by worldy influences that perhaps our first instinct should be to question the very things we think we know or think we desire. If music is not in God's ultimate plan for you, then whatever He has in mind will far exceed this present momentary desire.

I would have loved to read more of your Blog, but I'm afraid these old eyes can't handle the white font against the black background.

God bless you Chris, and may the strongest spell fall upon us both, so that we may see more clearly through those things that the world enchants us with.

Love, Todd