Monday, February 19, 2007
Lately I have been thinking about my passions. My passion for people, my passion for learning new ideas, my passion for hearing my Savior, and mostly about my passion for music. God has blessed me with some amazing talents and passions in the area of music. I would love nothing more than to pursue my passions and talents and make a career out of making music, but my Lord has something else in mind. He has called me to something higher. He has called me to a life of ministry. This is my struggle. I don't understand how God can give me these talents and passions and then want me to only give them up. He has asked me to give up what I love most in this world for what serves His purpose. And right now He is having to drag me kicking and screaming. Why can't I sacrifice what He asks me too. I am so weak. All I want to do is what I want to do, not what God wants. Why am I so simplistic? Why can I not see the bigger picture and let go of something that in the long run will benefit me nothing. This notion's got it's claws in me and is refusing to let go. How do I kill my desire for the greater good is the question that I cannot answer.
Sunday, February 4, 2007
I watched an interesting movie today. "The Road Peredition", it was quite good. It was about a kid who's father, from what I could really gather, was a mob hitman. In the movie the kid sneaks into his fathers car and sees him kill several men. Then one of the mobmen figure out that he was there, and tries to kill the entire family. He succeeds in killing the mother and the younger brother, but not the father or the main character. The rest of the movie is the father and his son trying to find the killer. They end up robbing several banks, and killing several people that got in the way. In the end, the father killed the mob boss, who was hiding the man who killed the family, and the man who killed his family. They then make it to Peredition, where the sister of the mother lives. There another hitman, who has been chasing them through the entire movie shoots the father and comes after the son. It ends up that the father wasn't quite dead, and killed the hitman, leaving the son by himself. It kind of leaves me at a point where I wish I had more information. What happened to the son? I know the father dies. But why did it have to end like that? Why couldn't they all die? I would have had alot more closure that way. Stupid. But then I came to the conclusion that I didn't write this movie, and this is the story that the writer wanted to tell. It begged alot of questions I suppose. Why do we feel that we must get revenge for anything and everything that goes wrong and is caused by someone? Secondly, it made me think about the way our lives our. God has written a story for our lives. We make not like it, but He has our best interests in mind. Why are we so resistant to things that are hard? Do we not trust our heavenly Father enough to know that no matter what we go through He will bring us through, whether that be death so that we are with Him in heaven for the rest of eternity, or keep us here to keep toiling through every day we have. How many times, have I taken His grace for granted? How many times have I lost hope in His divine plan? Have I no faith at all? God forgive me.
Friday, February 2, 2007
Today I finished all of my classes, and drove out to San Bernardino to Guitar Center. There Ryan and I met the rest of Split Veil. We then bought a firwire interface and a pop filter. We then drove to Kyle, the drummers house laid wire and got ready to record. We then talked about what exactly we wanted to do. This is my first time producing a record. I am so uberly stoked about starting tomorrow. We have exited the pre-production state, and tomorrow at 9 A.M. we will begin laying down drum tracks for two songs. This will be such a great experience. I am doing this record for free but they bought me the interface, so next time I will be able to get paid. This is something that I am totally excited about, because I am not in a band that is really going anywhere right now. Don't get me wrong I love playing with The Undiscovered, but at the time being we are just practicing alot, and have a few shows lined up, but still we are not making alot of money. So making some money with the skills and talents that God has blessed me with is something that I am so thankful for. I thank God for my talents, and now I have an even better way to use it for His glory. I hope you guys are all doing well. I love you all.